no. 1 (Fantasy)

hello~ BELİNAY here! i decided to create a series on my channel, naked., as a safe place for me to share my voice in such a vulnerable way. minimal editing, no beat, just a voice memo that feels like a diary entry or a secret we now all share~ just raw and intimate. i am not a pro at recording and/or producing in any way, and for so long i let that stall my self-expression out of fear of not being good enough, but we only have one life, and it'd be a disservice to myself to not give myself a chance.

i wrote Fantasy to be about a person i’ve always desired, yet, feeling or knowing that it’s impossible for that to happen. i’m someone who maladaptive daydreams quite a bit, and in those moments, there was all the beautiful and natural ups and downs of a perfect relationship, and i’d want it to feel so real in the moment, and it often did. however, some moments were met with just pure, pathetic sadness, knowing that experiencing these moments in real life with this person would never, ever happen, that i’d only be able to feel them in my imagination. facing that disheartening truth, i wrote this.

so whether it’s a longtime crush, the one that got away, or that celebrity that you’re married to in your head (being delusional is fun, okay?!?!), or even someone that doesn’t even exist and you long for the essence of whoever it may be, i hope this resonates with you in some way and you feel comforted knowing that you’re not alone in your feelings.

[lyrics]

i don't ever want to wake up

even if you're just made up

our memories i refuse to erase

it's the truth that i refuse to face

you're my safe place, in my safe place

you're enshrined within my mind

you're impossible to replace

for you i’ll always make the time

but you're just a fantasy

but don't you part ways with me

you free me from my reality

stay in my mind, forever, if you please

i treasure our connection

you're more than just of a reflection of me

but, you're a star i cannot reach

i'm in the clouds, but you're still too far from me

i feel so out of place

there’s no trace of you in my life

but the, thought of you i'll always embrace

somehow i'll make you mine

but you're just a fantasy

but don't you part ways with me

you free me from my reality

stay in my mind, forever, if you please

listen to Fantasy here: youtube | soundcloud

i hope you enjoyed Fantasy and stay tuned for other releases like this one that will come soon. thank you for listening to something so bare and imperfect, i appreciate you 🩶